Das Kapitalizt Snopsen Leichtgläubig Sitz im lieben

Got this anachronistic quote in email from my brother, who works in financial realms. It was forwarded to him from someone else, and he passed it onto me. And so, I pass it onto you (with comments):

“Owners of capital will stimulate the working class to buy more and more of expensive goods, houses and technology, pushing them to take more and more expensive credits, until their debt becomes unbearable. The unpaid debt will lead to bankruptcy of banks, which will have to be nationalized, and the State will have to take the road which will eventually lead to communism”

Karl Marx, Das Kapital, 1867

Wow. Karl Marx, in 1867 used words like “technology” — how prescient!

There! Go look it up yourself in this search inside Das Kapital

What? a search for the phrase “owners of capital” has 0 results? Same with “nationalize” ? How… How can that be?

A search inside Das Kapital for the phrase "owners of capital": 0 results.

A search inside Das Kapital for the phrase "owners of capital": 0 results.

People, I think someone parodied Karl Marx to address our current situation.

How… leichtgläubig!

It’s easy to do. See? Watch me try.

Owners of capital will arrange affairs in secrecy and cloaked in appeals to the security of the nation, with the result that they will manage to engage in outright thievery from the national purse, financing their lavish lifestyles on the backs of the common people. They will do this once they have burned through more and more of their investors money, and ignore all calls for genuine oversight of their activities. They will distract the proletariat with Karl Marxian communist-scare satire, which is the opiate of the masses. They will wish back for the day when the House Unamerican Activities Committee held real sway in our national discourse, because those were days when we were truly free from communism.


Recipients of electronic mail will read any quote appended by the name of any author and will forward those emails on to family and friends. In this way, the masses will become more gullible and less skeptical. Owners of capital will abscond with resources of those email recipients. In this way, the entire nation will move inexorably toward communism.

Like em? I just made em up. Send it to all your friends. And put any byline you want at the end.

UPDATE: Ugley Vicar also called foul and substituted a “real” quote, from the real Karl Marx work, which you can download here. I say “real” because I haven’t looked it up.

4 responses to “Das Kapitalizt Snopsen Leichtgläubig Sitz im lieben”

  1. Margaret

    Very clever, Ms. Kitchens.

  2. Miss Havisham

    Red scare of 2009! You heard it here first, folks.

  3. Ann Erdman

    Be sure to vote tomorrow! Three council seats and four board of education seats are at stake. Details on my blog.

  4. Mark

    It’s hard to do a comprehensive search because google books do not display all the pages.