Lo, the forehead, it is very purple

This week, I’m learning SQL structured queries. oh joy. This week I’m questioning my sanity. It’s been a mentally painful few days. Enough to make me wonder about that new years resolution about passion. How the hell does learning some obscure select language fit into the Go With Your Passion, especially as I’m the sort of person that has conniption fits when this programming crap doesn’t work, and so I’d probably be best off just accepting my limitations when it comes to writing code? One minute I’m feeling the forward progress—one millimeter at a time!— the next minute I’m questioning my sanity for trying such a thing.

This morning, after a walk (ooh! also on my new year’s resolution list), I pondered the depths of yesterday’s sql-angst. I love how the human mind can justify damn near anything. Here’s mine: “Well, I do want to write about the life of my grandmother, an early 20th century geek (after a fashion), so this learning of extreme logic and analytical something is a way to walk in her left-brain engineer shoes. After a fashion.” That’s either a brilliant case of justification or a quasi-lame case of put-up or shut-up. All in all, it’s probably more honest than the “If you work really really hard, you’ll get some pre-IPO stock” justification. In any case, this new-found perspective is helping get me through today. Or maybe the walk is what’s helping.

That, and the assistance of friends (Hey, CR!) and sites such as these: Gentle introduction to SQL

One response to “Lo, the forehead, it is very purple”

  1. Katrina

    This sounds a little like the dilemma I’m finding myself in. I love my theatre work, but you can’t make a living as a professional theatre actor. So I need a day job. I’ve been a print designer since 1993, but positions like that are getting harder and harder to find. My boss just told me this week that they’re facing a budget crunch, and my job will be one of the first to go (they just don’t know when yet).

    Web design and motion graphics seem to be the current trend. My head tells me that I need to bite the bullet and learn the new stuff (Flash, Shockwave, After Effects, Final Cut, JavaScript, CSS), but my heart balks like a stubborn horse. I’m pouring so much of my resources into improving my work as an actor; I don’t want to take time, energy, and money away from that to update my skills in design, which no longer sparks my passion. But if I don’t do something, I’ll be out of a job soon, with few prospects for a new one!